


Asking for a helping hand

by MaximEve



Series: He just wants to be there for him [2]
Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Blood, Hurt/Comfort, I think??? im bad at tagging shit help, M/M, just some mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-05 23:23:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14629185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaximEve/pseuds/MaximEve
Summary: Vaseraga is scared. Deep down, he's simply scared of losing that which he holds dear once again. And so, he always shoves everyone away, behind him, and focuses on one single thing: protecting them, disregarding his own body and health. And Gran has had enough of this. As a captain, as a friend, and as something else.





	Asking for a helping hand

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write more fluffy stuff but I was in a "meh" mood so you get this. Sorry if it's... bad and stuff but Vaseraga and his fucking self-destructive tendencies make me emotional and I ended up self-projecting (again) ahsjfgdfgf

It was always like that with Vaseraga. He was always right there, right behind you, a comforting presence you knew you could rely on. But the moment he threw himself before you, right into the fray, right into the enemies’ attacks, you just understood. What, you were never really sure, but you understood something.

Gran understood that Vaseraga was scared. Scared to lose anything ever again. He was scared and he will always be, not matter how much he came to terms with his loss. That was why he was so desperate to protect. That’s why, right now, he was fighting a beast like a beast himself, disregarding the claws slashing his skin, the blood pouring out, the flames burning him.

And Gran just couldn’t stand that, and with that anger in his body he finally got up from being knocked against a nearby rock and ran at the biggest monster, without even thinking, not caring about the screaming of the others he left behind.

He never thought he could slash with that much strength. He never thought his sword would slice that much. He felt petty satisfaction at pushing Vaseraga behind him, for once, and to finish the job himself. He stood amongst the corpses of the monsters, breathing heavily. He turned towards Vaseraga, who simply stood there, holding onto his scythe to stay up. That single red eye looked with an emotion he couldn’t recognize, piercing him with it.

He hated it. And so he left, without even saying a word. Without even acknowledging the worry everyone was showing. Vaseraga watched him going, with that enigmatic expression still on his hidden face.

That night, Gran simply stared at the ceiling. He barely even blinked, not wanting to close his eyes. It brought back the image of Vaseraga staring at him. He hated it. Hated how he couldn’t tell what he was thinking half the time, and hated how this was in the “couldn’t tell” half. He hated how reckless he was, thinking that he could just burden himself with everything. He hated himself for not having any meaningful way to show him he didn’t have to do this. He hated how reckless he himself was for creating such a scene out of anger.

Gran felt as if the room was getting filled with dense anger, frustration, annoyance. He decided to get out of it, walk on the deck to clear his mind. Like he did that one night where they both chatted for a few minutes. He hoped Vaseraga wasn't there this time.

Whatever deity was up there didn’t listen to him.

That unmistakable figure was standing still, staring off into the dark sky. Gran didn’t have time to turn back on his heel, because this time, Vaseraga noticed him.

“Captain,” he said. His voice carried something that Gran couldn’t describe, but that made his heart sink. It wasn’t like having someone you care about angry at you, but somehow, it was worse. He resigned himself with a sigh and walked next to him.

It felt just like that night.

They didn’t speak for some time. They stood there in silence. It wasn’t a comfortable silence this time. It was heavy, thick, and Gran only wanted for it to go away. But he didn’t know if that would’ve made things better in any way.

Vaseraga was the one who broke it first. Gran hated how hesitant he was.

“I’ve been called dense more than a few times. And I never really understood why.” He gave a little sad chuckle. “Guess that alone is proof enough.” He stopped for a moment. Gran didn’t really understand where he wanted to go with this.

“Whatever happened today, though… I know it was because of me.” Gran realized his fist was gripping the balustrade really hard. “And I’m sorry for that-”

“That’s not gonna change anything.” Gran suddenly cut him off. Vaseraga looked at him with pure surprise. Gran himself was amazed that he could get so… rude. “That’s not… going to change things.” He was gripping harder. He refused to look at Vaseraga, and instead fixed his eyes onto whatever was beyond the clouds.

“I don’t need you to be sorry. I need you to… to stop. To stop doing that.”

Vaseraga hesitated. “I… I don’t…” 

“You think that you can just… take on everything.” Gran continued mercilessly. It broke his heart to see Vaseraga, the one who always held himself together, the one who always had a sensible thing to say stutter like that. But he continued. “As if pushing everyone behind you gives you permission to just not care anymore!”

He realized he was starting to shout. He knew he should’ve stopped, and yet he also knew that if he didn’t keep going now, he would never be able to continue ever again. This time, he turned to face the baffled Vaseraga next to him, looking into that single red eye that was so wide and… scared. 

“You think that just like that, your job will be done, and you won’t have to worry anymore. But that’s not true! That’s not how it works at all!” He could feel his own nails digging into his flesh, so hard he was making a fist. “Everytime you step forward with that excuse of yours, to ‘protect’ us, the only thing you’re really just doing is making us suffer! Because we see you! We see you taking everyone’s lives on your shoulders, thinking you can hold them up with that modified body of yours or whatever! But in doing all that, you just keep on… on…” His words caught on his throat. He felt something warm and wet on his cheeks, and realized what a pathetic mess he must’ve looked like at that moment, shouting in tears.

“On destroying yourself! And we can only watch!” He slammed a fist on the wood with that last word. “We can only watch you get wounded and wounded and wounded, more and more and more, and you just ignore it! You ignore everything as if that makes it all okay!”

He stared at Vaseraga like he was begging him for something. “You always talk about how you can’t feel pain anymore, but we do! Everytime we almost lose you we feel pain! Everytime you keep getting yourself teared apart to help us, we…” Once again, he stutters. His fist is bleeding now, his nails piercing his own flesh, and his anger bottles up and subsides against the words that won’t come out, until finally he looks down and whispers. “I get so scared… Scared that one day you’ll just… crumble under everything. And even thinking about it scares me.”

Once again, a heavy silence. Gran’s tears slid down his cheeks and fell down without making any sound. He remembered the other night. ‘Choose words carefully.’ He wondered once again if he really did that, or if he just screamed thoughtlessly whatever was on his mind. If he had made an irreparable mistake.

Suddenly, he felt something rough but gentle take his bleeding hand. Vaseraga took a weary look at it, checking to see how much damage was done. Gran realized only now that it was hurting a lot, but he felt too numb to care now.

Vaseraga placed his other hand onto Gran’s, and closed his eye. His hands were warm and just… gentle.

“... Everything you said,” he started, “every last thing you said just now… you’re right. All of it.” He lowered his head, shamefully. “And even if it won’t do much… I’m sorry. Again, and always. I’m truly sorry.”

Gran then hurried on cleaning his face with his free hand. “N-no, listen, I overreacted… I mean, it’s what I thought but I could’ve probably… I don’t know…” What could he have done differently? Everything, probably.

“But… If I even have the right to anymore…” Vaseraga continued, raising his face. His eye was filled with sadness, but also something else. Something better. “I need to ask you… a favor. As a friend to a friend. As a crewmate, to my captain.” Gran looked up as well, eyes still red. He nodded with a weak smile. “Yeah, ask away.”

“I would like you… to help me.” Vaseraga’s hands gripped Gran’s a bit more tightly, and he closed his eye. “To help me be able to rely on others, instead of pushing them away. So that I may be pulled back if I step too far in. So that others may help me.”

He opened his eye again. His expression was… soft. “So that I can rely on you, Captain. So that you can keep me near, where I won’t lose anything.” Gran felt himself becoming hot. He never really thought Vaseraga could be so… smooth. But for once, he didn’t hesitate.

“Yes! I mean… Of course.” He laughed awkwardly at his own response. Vaseraga simply closed his eyes, but his face seemingly shifted under the bandages. This time, Gran was sure he was smiling. “... Thank you,” he said, with a voice that felt released of a weight that had been there for years. He then continued, but as a whisper, like he didn’t really want to be heard. “To think I’d be lucky enough to meet such people…”

Gran tilted his head. “What was that?” But Vaseraga only shook his head. “But I think I said too much. We should probably get your hand patched up. Lyria will get worried if he sees it like this.” Gran couldn’t help but huff as Vaseraga started walking… while still holding onto Gran’s hand. He was forced to walk along, hurrying to catch up. Almost timidly, feeling self-conscious after his outburst, he asked: “So… Did I choose my words right, this time?” 

Vaseraga chuckled. “Funny.” He looked at his captain, that single red eye looking happier than it ever had.

“I was about to ask you the same question, Captain.”


End file.
